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From The Mommybot
...possibly mad...in both senses of the word!
contemplative
Someone said a week ago on a forum, but I only read it last night, that I exaggerate. This person is only a name and words on a board and a voice on a podcast that I like to me, so just a tiny step up from a complete stranger. Certainly I wouldn't call him a friend, because I don't know him beyond that.
This has been bothering me all day. Not the comment - its a fair comment about something I hadn't thought about, as I learned decades ago when I wanted to be a writer to hook and embellish and I've never lost the habit. I don't go overboard in the exaggeration, tho, to the point of lies because I do not want to do that. But yes, I do exaggerate.
No, what's been bothering me is that I've been bothered enough to keep thinking about the fact that the guy said it and possible repercussions. I don't do this most of the time with things friends and family say, tho their opinions ARE important to me...just strangers, and I've read that this happens a lot with people, where the opinions of strangers seem to count more than that of friends and family. This kind of intrigued me - why was I ruminating on this comment, which I think is a fair assessment? If a family member or a friend said it, I would consider it, ponder on it, take it to heart if I decided to, but the simple fact it *was said* wouldn't keep coming back to haunt me. So...why?
I came to the conclusion that it has to do with familiarity. Friends and family - you know what they're going to do with the information they just conveyed, you know what their reactions are, and so forth, and that they actually care about you. Strangers and passing acquaintances on the other hand - you don't know. Even if you like them (and generally if their opinions seem to matter to you, you do), there's a fear of the unknown. Are they going to paste it all over creation, try and make your life miserable? Are they trying to be helpful? Are they intending to be nice, be bastards, do they give a damn? Were they somehow hurt by what you said? You just don't know, so the fear drives to try and make sure that the outcome will be good, but since you don't know the person and thus the way to make it good with them, you're left ruminating on the event, trying to figure out from what tiny little slivers you know how to 'make good'...over and over again.
When the better reaction would be to consider what they say, agree or discard it, then let it be. Like when werewolfie Oz was told by a critic fearful of his reaction that his band 'played like they had sausages strapped to their fingers'; he considered it, said it was fair, then dropped the matter entirely.
This has been a reminder to me. :D Be like Oz. :D
--Moony
This has been bothering me all day. Not the comment - its a fair comment about something I hadn't thought about, as I learned decades ago when I wanted to be a writer to hook and embellish and I've never lost the habit. I don't go overboard in the exaggeration, tho, to the point of lies because I do not want to do that. But yes, I do exaggerate.
No, what's been bothering me is that I've been bothered enough to keep thinking about the fact that the guy said it and possible repercussions. I don't do this most of the time with things friends and family say, tho their opinions ARE important to me...just strangers, and I've read that this happens a lot with people, where the opinions of strangers seem to count more than that of friends and family. This kind of intrigued me - why was I ruminating on this comment, which I think is a fair assessment? If a family member or a friend said it, I would consider it, ponder on it, take it to heart if I decided to, but the simple fact it *was said* wouldn't keep coming back to haunt me. So...why?
I came to the conclusion that it has to do with familiarity. Friends and family - you know what they're going to do with the information they just conveyed, you know what their reactions are, and so forth, and that they actually care about you. Strangers and passing acquaintances on the other hand - you don't know. Even if you like them (and generally if their opinions seem to matter to you, you do), there's a fear of the unknown. Are they going to paste it all over creation, try and make your life miserable? Are they trying to be helpful? Are they intending to be nice, be bastards, do they give a damn? Were they somehow hurt by what you said? You just don't know, so the fear drives to try and make sure that the outcome will be good, but since you don't know the person and thus the way to make it good with them, you're left ruminating on the event, trying to figure out from what tiny little slivers you know how to 'make good'...over and over again.
When the better reaction would be to consider what they say, agree or discard it, then let it be. Like when werewolfie Oz was told by a critic fearful of his reaction that his band 'played like they had sausages strapped to their fingers'; he considered it, said it was fair, then dropped the matter entirely.
This has been a reminder to me. :D Be like Oz. :D
--Moony
irateAnd American Herds has some INTERESTING information on the UTTERLY RIDICULOUS numbers the BLM is claiming for the Calico Complex herd. They're claiming that a species that produces one foal per mare once every ten months somehow managed to more than triple in population IN ONE YEAR. Either they're fudging the numbers, secretly dumped a bunch of horses in the area, or they're truly incompetent.
--Moony